A Quest for perfection

I was reluctant to go to yoga yesterday. My body wanted to be on the couch, reading Hangsaman by Shirley Jackson. And while I did enjoy getting my body moving, I left the studio thinking only about one thing, a sentence the instructor said while she was correcting my pose. “Strive not for perfection but for bliss” 

I loved that. it got me thinking about my quest for perfection.

I used to be a perfectionist.

Nothing would be finished until it was complete. completion of one thing meant that you cannot add anything more to it without disturbing it’s essence and turning it into a completely new thing; And that meant change.

Surprisingly that is the opposite meaning of perfection to Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.” 

during that period of my life, I would get nothing done. because nothing was complete

That was an agonizing process. It left me feeling frustrated, to say the least.

I don’t remember exactly when my self-realization took place.

I wish I could tell you how the gears in my mind shifted. 

It saddens me to see people  seeking this completeness, from without. To be a more perfect version of who they are. By adding more, rather than taking away. I learned the hard way that this is a game you can’t ever win.

Surgeries have rendered a lot people to look alike, you can’t distinguish them anymore.

Every girl has the perfect breasts, the perfectly shaped little nose and that famous Hollywood smile.

The youthful generation in my county is all about getting that perfectly generic beauty.

I can understand the pressure that falls upon us girls, we are judged by our looks. If you are a Middle Eastern, the prettier you are the better chances of you getting married and having a family. There are a lot of ways to make you beautiful so don’t despair. We have eye correcting LASIK surgeries, hair extension, false lashes, removable contact lenses, fingernails and of course, make up. And when all else fails, we have the permanent make up artists at the ready to draw out your eyebrows, plump your lips and even color them in a more agreeable shade. Not to mentions the multiple surgeries and injections you can get to make any changes necessary. It has become quite a regular thing for girls to do these surgeries. I have a couple of friends who did their breasts, their noses and various other body parts.

everyone is starting to look alike, because someone somewhere said: THIS IS IT! THIS IS PERFECTION! THIS IS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE BEAUTIFUL.

I can’t help but think about why would girls go to such lengths…

Is it what society expects from us? Is that why we feel the need to be, “perfect.”

If that’s the case, I’ll take looking average with my unique features anytime. thank you.

Beauty is always subjective in the eyes of its beholder. 

But maybe it is more than just trying to be perfect. 

I know that people put off feeling good NOW because they don’t look good; Having a couple of pounds to lose, having a large, bulbous-y nose, or scars all over your body.

 I, for one, used to hate my nose. My grandmother used to have a name for it, “garlic nose,” she called it. I wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or not. When I think back on it, I recall she was just stating a fact. I used to find my nose disagreeable. It didn’t compliment my features, in fact, I felt that it took away from the parts that I liked about my face. I have a “beauty mark” on my nose that is anything but beautiful. As well as my deformed spine and the various scars on my body. 

I have grown to love my nose, when I accepted myself. I loved myself, now. with my crooked nose and swayed back, scars and all. 

Confidence in yourself is a sign that you love yourself.

It’s giving the standards of beauty your middle finger, because you don’t fit in their scale, you are your own scale, your own uniqueness is something to be celebrated, treasured and adored.

And When you love yourself unconditionally, you let go of your unrealistic ideals, you will be immensely happy. You will be in bliss.

To be continued…

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5 comments

  1. Awesome article and very good points you made about beauty being subjective and all of us starting to look alike.
    For the record, you are beautiful inside and outside too…… best kind of beauty to have!

    Like

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